No, it's not a birthday... and it's not New Year's and time to reminisce and set goals... actually, there is no reason anyone else will ever remember July 10th. But DB and I will never forget it.
On July 10th, 2009, Samuel crashed. Dr. Taylor had to break the terrible news that he probably wouldn't live. Our frantic eyes looked into those of Samuel's three primaries, and RT's, and other doctors and nurses, as we begged for any glimmer of hope. I almost forgot, until I read the post from last year, how badly we needed a miracle.
Like last year, I am writing because this is part of my family's story, and because I don't want to forget how today feels. It's amazing how time works. I remember last year like it was yesterday... and sometimes like it was a decade ago. I remember the pain, but I can't feel all of it. It's something I swore I would never forget, because I never want to take a single day for granted with my babies... or with anyone I love, for that matter. I do remember it, and writing this post with tears in my eyes, I know I can still feel some of it... but time has healed part of me. I think that if I could really remember what last July 10th felt like, I would be a crazy person. Yes, crazier than I am now :)
One of the other things we will never forget was the compassion of the medical team. This incredible team had known our baby for almost 6 months... they knew our family sometimes better than we did :) We will always be thankful for shared tears, for the professional manner in which they took care of Samuel, for the tender way in which they cared for our baby, for friendship, and for honesty. Honesty was sometimes the hardest to swallow, but there is no other way we would have wanted it.
Today we celebrated! Not only the last year, but also a new step! How's that for perfect timing :) It was a test, but today Samuel was on the thermovent for 12 hours, straight! Extra oxygen, but no ventilator for 12 hours in a row! We will try a few more of these tests before our pulmonary visit this week, and then test for cO2 retention while we are there. Fingers crossed! This is HUGE!
We love our babies! And today, on his thermovent, I hugged Samuel, my baby, flat to my chest like a "normal" mother any time I wanted to. We are overjoyed!
On July 10th, 2009, Samuel crashed. Dr. Taylor had to break the terrible news that he probably wouldn't live. Our frantic eyes looked into those of Samuel's three primaries, and RT's, and other doctors and nurses, as we begged for any glimmer of hope. I almost forgot, until I read the post from last year, how badly we needed a miracle.
Like last year, I am writing because this is part of my family's story, and because I don't want to forget how today feels. It's amazing how time works. I remember last year like it was yesterday... and sometimes like it was a decade ago. I remember the pain, but I can't feel all of it. It's something I swore I would never forget, because I never want to take a single day for granted with my babies... or with anyone I love, for that matter. I do remember it, and writing this post with tears in my eyes, I know I can still feel some of it... but time has healed part of me. I think that if I could really remember what last July 10th felt like, I would be a crazy person. Yes, crazier than I am now :)
One of the other things we will never forget was the compassion of the medical team. This incredible team had known our baby for almost 6 months... they knew our family sometimes better than we did :) We will always be thankful for shared tears, for the professional manner in which they took care of Samuel, for the tender way in which they cared for our baby, for friendship, and for honesty. Honesty was sometimes the hardest to swallow, but there is no other way we would have wanted it.
Today we celebrated! Not only the last year, but also a new step! How's that for perfect timing :) It was a test, but today Samuel was on the thermovent for 12 hours, straight! Extra oxygen, but no ventilator for 12 hours in a row! We will try a few more of these tests before our pulmonary visit this week, and then test for cO2 retention while we are there. Fingers crossed! This is HUGE!
We love our babies! And today, on his thermovent, I hugged Samuel, my baby, flat to my chest like a "normal" mother any time I wanted to. We are overjoyed!
A-ok :)
2 comments:
amazing. i remember reading about samuel and praying for you guys. what huge strides he has made!! can't wait to see what next july 10th brings!
Tim and I were just talking about last year at this time and the big prayers that were going on for Samuel. What a difference a year makes!! Go God, please continue to watch over and take care of this precious family.
Love,
Pam
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