Monday, January 11, 2010


Samuel had a big move! Since he is in an intensive care unit, you would think that's a reason for celebration, but unfortunately it was a lateral move... from the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit to the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit.

The PICU is the ICU for anyone 18 years old or younger, beginning with day old babies who have gone home but have to be readmitted to the ICU. The NICU is only for babies who have never left the hospital... and once you leave the NICU, you can't go back. The possibility of moving Samuel to the PICU had come up a few times... Samuel has never left the hospital, but he is not a neonate anymore either. One reason we hadn't moved him is we thought he was coming home soon... why rock the boat by moving him from the NICU to the PICU, away from the team who has taken care of him his entire life, if he's coming home soon, was one of the thoughts.

On January 7th Samuel crossed the hall into the PICU. I'm sorry if I sound sad, but I am. I know that the PICU is the right place for Samuel now - he's a big boy, with big boy issues. I know that the team in the PICU is wonderful, and the right fit for a little guy who is about to be a year old. I know that we will look at this in the most positive light - the chance to meet new people and work with new doctors, and it's just across the hall from the NICU. And, I know that it may sound crazy that I'm torn up about a move "across the hall." But my heart just hurts... I can't help it. I know this move means Samuel is not coming home in January, and it just breaks me.

I also miss our friends in the NICU. I know they're technically just doing their jobs as doctors, nurses, respiratory therapists, residents, fellows, receptionists, etc, and they meet lots of families and care for lots of babies, but whether they know it or not, they have been so much more than that to our family. George and Olivia spent the first 9 weeks of their lives in the NICU and Special Care Nursery, during which time the team was caring for the babies and also educating us and helping DB and I cope with the unexpected, watching all three of our children grow in, and eventually out of, isolets. And for more than 11 months they have not only cared for Samuel, but loved him, helped him grow, and made sure he knows how to smile. When you see him laugh, you would never guess that Samuel has grown up in a hospital. He is quite the social bug! This team, in particular his primaries and secondaries, has also laughed and cried with us during the many ups and downs. I'm not quite sure how they are strong enough to do what they do day in and day out, but I will be forever grateful that they chose to.

I wouldn't know where to begin, or end, the stories about all that the NICU team has been through with our family... the funny moments with antlers and a red nose, the scary moments that still give me a lump in my throat, the new parent moments of changing our first poopy diapers, the heart warming moments of baby hand and footprints, the family moments of being able to hold all three of our children, the exciting moments of first teeth and blowing kisses, and the happiest moments of "favorable odds." I could never put into words the gratitude and respect I have for the team.
We are moved into the PICU and are lucky to still be in the Children's Hospital and keeping the same pulmonology, cardiology, ENT, OT, PT, speech, and child life friends, among others... and we are excited to get to know our new nurses, doctors, and residents! We will look past the sadness that Samuel isn't coming home in January, and be excited that he's coming home! Maybe not tomorrow, but soon :)

Thank you NICU team! Love you!

No worries mom, I am strong!

The Move

Hangin' with my friends while they pack up all my stuff... I'm a little in shock that this is actually happening!

Here we go... (it is literally across the hall - out these doors and into the ones directly in front of us.)

Settling in... I got my big bed back! Yea! Hi new friends :)

Just a few of Samuel's NICU friends...
there's no way I could include everyone who has cared for him, there have been so many incredible people! What a lucky little boy :)


Lindsey said...

You have such a beautiful boy there!! I have been following your blog and this comment is way over due. He is beautiful, strong, and so loved by many!! I keep you all in my prayers and think of ya'll often. I can't wait for Samuel to come home!! Lindsey Bryan (although its Trimmier now)

Dave, Krysten, Andrew, and Kira said...

I love you Samuel so much and I love your mommy and daddy so much too! You are such a blessing to me and you will always have a special place in my heart!! Don't forget us sweet boy and don't forget to continue to blow kisses to all your new friends! I love you buddy!

Laurie said...

Bethany, I am so sad to read this. I kept thinking he was coming home sometime this next week. I know your heart must be breaking and you are so anxious to have him home with you. And I definitely know intimately the scary feeling of leaving the NICU for new "family" who have yet to learn exactly how your baby likes things to be and all of his quirks and ups and downs.